Perfectionism, Fears and Good Husbands…

Readying your book for publication, i.e. the printing and binding of the words you have penned is an illuminating process.

First of all, if you’re like me, a perfectionist, nothing you read of the novel or story seems right.

All the sentences you spent hours upon hours crafting, shaping, editing, refining and then re-writing sound horrible. I read my stories and novels aloud during the last stages of editing.

Perhaps the words sound awkward because I don’t want to believe that I’ve reached this point. And under my own steam.

Yes, my husband, lucky guy that he is, an on a more serious note, great encourager and supporter of my work and my dreams, has made all of this possible.

After reading my novel, The House, when I did not even ask him, he concluded, and very emphatically, “This needs to be published.”

On hearing that I was not ready, nor did I have the energy to enter a round of sending out the manuscript and receiving a trail of rejections due to the poor economy, he declared, “Then self-publish it.”

I knew what that meant. He would be paying for it. I’m pretty much a stay-at-home wife and mom.

It’s a hard time now for everyone in publishing.

Even authors with a list of publications under the belt were losing contracts of finding that their agents could not entice publishers to renew. That my husband offered to support me without my asking touched my heart.

I could do no less than find a way to get myself up to the task of doing all the things self-publishers must do to see our work in print.

It sounds like a lot. And it is a might task.

Then again, when I see and hear about various authors with what I have considered sterling careers struggling to maintain a way to keep having their stories printed, find a publisher that will do that for them, I felt myself lucky to have my husband.

He’s a loving guy, great father, works hard.

That he saw beyond my fear and encouraged me to do what deep down I’d always wanted, but doubted I held the abilities to accomplish and learn, really moved me.

It jumpstarted a spark of belief and faith in myself that now as I crest to the other side of that mountain that so intimidated me, I am again immensely thankful.

So much of what we do as writers in setting our stories to paper or typing their words upon the computer screen centers of greeting our fears, and in joining hands with what often stirs a chill upon our hearts and minds, grow stronger through the transformation that arises from simply making the bond. Embracing that which causes us to withdraw takes courage.

Families, when at their best, find and create ways to nudge each other forward. The embrace of words that suggest, you can do it, offers given to both financially and emotionally support each other, complimenting a spouse or son’s creation. It helps tremendously.

It’s been a busy and trying year. Working on my novel, The House, while micro- and macro-managing everyone’s schedules, making sure homework assignments are completed, assisting when they’re not, holding to my responsibilities as wife and mother, aspects of my life that are truly important to me.

Despite all the challenges I have faced, I would feel horrible if I had not taken up my husband on his offer to support me in self-publishing my work.

He could suggest and offer his support. But I had to carry out the tasks that when brought together made the dream and hope in which he shared anticipation, a physical reality.

~ by Anjuelle Floyd on February 10, 2010.

2 Responses to “Perfectionism, Fears and Good Husbands…”

  1. I completely relate to your experience. When I decided to self-publish I didn’t realize what a cathartic experience it would end up being.

    • I am so happy for you. It’s incredibly wonderful.
      It requires much more from us than when we are traditionally published, and while the latter has its unique payoffs, so does the self-publishing route. And it also prepares you for what all writers must do when a traditional publisher comes calling.

      Again congratulations. And thanks for stopping by and taking the time to leave a comment.

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